big & scary: The Details

ok so the morning of our last day, our day-trip day brought with it a temper temper-tantrum thingy. RIGHTLY so cait! mi ladie called to confirm that the vehicle'd be ready for us in the am (the later am as she called at 2 am), but the f-ers had us booked for the same day of the month only in sept. yes we're calling at 2 to be sure our car will be ready 1 month and 7 hours from now. yes. idiots. (avoid payless rental!)
so a bit behind schedule we got into our shitty small suv Suzuki or something, whose tranny sounded like it might actually bottom out and we'd leave it behind, whose cd player refused to play after 3 hours of a 10 hour car trip - biatch, and began our journey, our adventure, our gc viewing. no directions, huh? caitlin, pretty sure that was your gig - whatevs - Francis will Help! nope. he will not find the number online to "contact us" us being the rangers, a recording, someone who'll navigate us there. his act of "help" was to text two cranky and hungover (at least i was ... or was that just still drunkness being aggravated? i can't tell) gals excited to be heading to the treacherous, highly adventurous, and secluded north rim that "cooper said n rim = pain in ass & 2 Extra hours driving compared to s rim." not exactly the kind of information that we called for! he called back with directions, which we got on our own from a ranger who was telling us the same damned thing, and we thought for his safety we wouldn't answer. perhaps that's why it was so quite at the nort-siiiiide - everyone is wrongly told it's a pain in the kisser.
side note: why's it called "the kisser" ??? oh, and WE LOVES YOU FRANCIS! just not at that moment we didn't. we didn't love anyone. caitlin especially didn't love me after this: she went into a travel place to get a map while i spoke to the ranger - when my conversation with derrick downer was over i noticed the keys in the ignition and just had to do it. i go inside and say "you took the keys, didn't you?" the look on the poor girls face ... made it soooo worth it ;)
ok we're back. a jack in the box lunch later we both felt quite a bit better, yet fatter. the scenery only continued to get prettier and ruggeder as we traveled. we decided to go through zion national park and drove through a mountain and everything! did i mention i'm afraid of heights? so here's where there's a clash - i like the scenery and would love love love to enjoy it but the edges of the road were oh so dangerously close. putting blinders on to miss the nearness of a potential plunge to ours deaths inhibits the scenic view just above that darned bottomless portal below. what's a girl to do?
ok so we Finally get there and bobbi's a lil nervous, cause no joke, this hole is big. we went out to bright angel point - caitlin skipped (in flip flops), while i slowly side stepped. i wasn't expecting to be so ill and scared, nevertheless there it was. we made it to the tip where there's a nice 270 degree view - Very beautiful! only problem - it made me icky inside and the car ride back was less than awesome. yeah the one without music. we sang.
how could I?!? i almost forgot the moon - caitlin happened to look over her shoulder when driving and directly behind us just coming up off the horizon was non-other than the moon in all her glowing glory. it was the size of ... well, the moon, but it Looked HUGE! later too once it was high in the sky we couldn't help but notice how voluminously illuminatory it was - it was neon white, like those annoying headlights that a few annoying folks have - ya know, the neon white ones. was it the desert clean air? was it the latitude we're not used to? i not sure, but look!

we're monsters

1389 is our worth, eh caitlin? ...not bad.
well the trip was Busy and fun and worth it:
we started our Classy vacation freshening in the hilton bathroom with suitcases open, things slightly strewn (one woman's muttered comment: what the hell's going on in here? is this really such odd behavior to deserve that? i think not) and then buffeting at mcdonalds - at least an interesting vegas style golden arch, but the relentless screaming child drove us and All the other patrons out. in hindsight we've decided caitlin shoulda thrown an endless (at least til dad stopped his yeller) scream over her shoulder into His ear - thata been a solid kodak moment.
we ventured down the strip and found a hot hawaiian firedancer and plastic guitars filled with juicy sweet cocktails; a perfect starter for the evening.
after a quick change it was time to head out for the evening. we began with martini's at wynn's parasol - Such a pretty lounge (ch ch check it!). then there was poker & Super highroller blackjack watching. another bar we sat down at produced 'movie stars' at our sides (well ... one and two lines in the recently released disney movie high school reunion - hardly deserving of a celebratory trip to vegas??? whatevs). we ended up at a destination where we received more dances of sorts than Anyone really needs. oh, and more drinks than Anyone really needs - to keep up with the weekend's $ filled motif they came from bottle service, of course. i found myself talking to a performer working her 3rd shift, but what she Really wanted to do was to go to college - typical sad story. my subtle and suave posit: well, cover up them boobies and get the F outta here then!
after walking out of the 'club' at some sun-up-already hour we slept til noonish before bounding (yes bound - i can muster all sorts of energy when on vacation. well, actually i can do it mostly whenever the hell i want) down to the condo pool. ps: we knew to go there cause our host left us 3 notes we repeated every time we steeped over them ... "pool. the. at." then, quite timely, the rains began to fall, no not fall, they were thrown down ... by i think a nbl pitcher. perhaps we were being punished by the gods for our sins? so, what the hell else to do but drink? we didn't know either, so we went with the default - for me, whiskey/sours at the pool side bar. after a lil veggie pizza and a couple drinks the gods forgave us (likely because sinning in sincity ain't technically a sin) and let the sun shine through. the 3 of us played a ridiculously exorbitant amount of catch in the pool on floaties with 3 tennis balls - this lasted for Hours - really.
the time came to deprune and pretty ourselves for the night out ... BUT First! champagne & hor'devours & a jacuzzi with bubbles! well ... the coronas were itty, the snack consisted of doritos and the 'bubbles' were only clouded bath water from a dove bar. we try to be sheik, but are not always as prepared to create posh situations like we'd like to be.
ok - dresses are on, hair's stick straight and we're out the door. the grapefruit martini is almost as delicious as the pear one consumed the night prior and i'm in heaven at aquaknox. i thought he was kidding, but the host led us into the circular wine room to din at the chef's table within. had no idea we were VIPs. the 3 digitly priced white wine we had was flippin fantastic - it put my boxed pinot grigio to a wee bit of shame and now it'll never taste the same again, which sucks cause at the rate with which i consume and offer out the stuff it's right about at what i should afford. the sashimi app was to die for as were the other 2 meals at the table. i ordered the sea bass - ok, when ordering sea bass aren't we all expecting the most tender and thick slab of heavenly buttery goodness? i received a whole fish with his sad pathetic little eyes apologetically staring at me. "i didn't order This!" we'll take it back and open it up, cut off its head and dry the hell out of it for you. would that be better? nnnnnO. it sucked.
we decided to hang with (i mean be a part of) the young hipity crowd at the hard rock next. here is where my gambling started, then ended almost before it started. how's That, you might ask. well it's easy: take your 40 dollars out and lay it on the 10 min table. in 4 consecutive hands ... lose. over. several hands later my gentleman neighbor (A cute RockStar from a theory of a deadman!!!!) antied up for me. 2 queens?!? awesome! no no. i went ahead and lost that too. F.
our gracious host (and i) was (were) saddened to hear that we were not going to be joining him at tryst. why didn't we do that again? oh yeah - travels to the big hole in the am. damn, thata been fun (and up'd our worth, caitlin!).
gawd this is getting long - i will now start a new note all about the big hole. sit tight.

big and scary

i've found something else to be afraid of. planes are back in as relatively safe, the grand canyon, however, is not.

take off my wha?

it's the worst. simply the Worst, after entering the front door seeing 17 pairs of shoes lined (piled) up OR the folks you are with begin bending down to remove theirs OR the ever so polite words 'would you please remove your shoes' ... Really?
preface: if it's rainy/muddy/slushy/snowy i'll be the first in line to shed the lil trackers.
BUT if the case is not that ... Really?
if you bought white carpet, hint #one: don't buy white carpet - it is to be Walked on afterall ... cause it goes on the floor, ya.
so what? are the bottoms of feet cleaner than the shoe? that's a gamble.
-there are sometimes embarrassing holes in socks, blisters, bunyons, warts, chipped polish etc that folks don't want to show off.
my feet'll get cold - trust me.
my shoes are much more comfortable - trust me.
if this is a failed attempt to appear pristine and proper, good luck cause never before has there been a floor upon which i've walked barefoot where i ain't stepped on Something that stuck. i'm not making your floor dirty with my shoes, you're making my feet yickity by forcing em off'a me.

the (un)friendly skies

uh oh! i just booked a flight. now the knots are a'creepin. they never come until After the itinerary is in my hand though, so i keep forgetting how icky they are. why am i scared to fly? potentials include:
1. i'm an avid watcher of lost - Really don't enjoy the thought of meeting that crazy black cloud thing OR worse being chased by a scifi sized polar bear OR worse hanging out with Sawyer for the rest of my days.
2. i'm a control freak - trust the driver. trust the driver. I CAN'T! he must be incompetent - don't you all feel all this turbulance bouncing us around? that screw looks loose - did someone check into that before take off? stop laughing kid! you think this is funny? we're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna ... i need a drink.
3. everything is too tight in there - claustrophobia set in much? it doesn't, but this should be discussed as an annoyance which deep down is encouraging the fear in order to... naw, this just bugs me. where's my sugar daddy with his private jet already? let's see - where was I? oh yes you can't turn around (much less anything else i might want to do or try) in the toilet, arm rest war with shifty mcelbows (thanks for that reference pete!), never enough overhead space, the pillows are the size of a kleenx and not much thicker, even the peanut bag is ridiculously teenie tiny.
well, we'll see how it goes and i'll report more after the trip (if i survive).
i'll just mention now that i'm heading to vegas and the grand canyon in 4 days for some posh & ritzy times... Suckers!

bobbiloblawslawblog ???

firstly, if you not seen arrested development ... do.
moving on: perhaps this name isn't all that creative since i just added a 'bi'to the already existing lil nugget of ingenuity, but i think it's just That good and hence very able to pull me along, too.
also, it fits cause 1. i am a lawyer, 2. my name is bobbi, and 3. i like arrested development a LOT. but don't worry - i most likely won't blog much about the law so as to not bore you. this will be much more on the completely pointless side of things.

empty messages

the voicemails have Got to stop! if you have something to say, great - but Please do not leave a message saying "hey it's me. call me back." or worse - the quoted prior phrase being the jist of a lengthy and noninformative soliloquy. this is a waste of your time leaving the thing and mine having to listen to the thing. i already see that you've called and that is really message enough.

testing testing 1 2 3
is this thing on?