i can do so many things. it's really, truly amazing. are they talents? superpowers? maybe miracles, but whatever...
just read!
1. i read books while i wander the skyways, when getting to and fro work. i really zoom when i walk, eyes focused on pages or not. slow pokes beware, i'm barging through! there has never been an accident because of my great sense of self, dynamite peripheral subconscious peepin and probably everyone else being extra cautious thinking i'm a crazed hazard. you'd be full of wonderment watching!
2. i only wash my hair once a week! it just doesn't need it - there's no greaseyness, no oily slickstered style about it and no flakey mess. in fact, it's at my favorite, ease-of-styling-wise, at about day 5. but, after 7 days i figure ... it just
must be time. now gentleman, this may not seem like a jealousy enraging feat to yous, but to the other ladies of the world, naw na now nah na ha! however, when i do decide it's time (often early in the week), it is a small endeavor i must commit to, which takes mucho time deal with. so, if you call on tuesday and get an "i'm busy. i'm washing my hair," take it as the truth - no time for much else that day.
3. i park. i park well. it's almost magical how as i near and pull up to my destination, someone will make way for me. i'm at about 99% for getting the parking spot that even a rockstar'd be jealous of. if you're in need of this service, i'm selling.
4. i don't lose things (except for winter outer ware accessories - i
always lose those). my level of responsibility can be measured well and accurately with one example, one which every female with pierced ears are thrown aback by, and it is also one which mostly anyone can at least appreciate. it is: i still hold possession of the earrings i had my ears pierced with in second grade ... fronts
and backs. near miracle, no? naw. i'm just
that good.
5. i can drink. i can down a liter of water in one swift moment! but, as impressive as that is, we all know that's not what i mean ;) i can cocktail impressively in the following ways... a. i am pretty sure these words do not need to be in my vocabulary - rally, buck-up, oh-come-on; b. i'm reliable, you know it and you take advantage of it (not that i mind) - i don't think i've ever used the excuse "i'm too tired" or "i have to get up early" nor "i'm sick as hell;" c. and the one you've all been waiting for ... i'll drink you under the table, or at least 90% of you - my skills have been proven to many, but for those of you underexposed to them, i invite you to join in a gathering soon.
6. i get what i want. musically only, sadly. i did end up going to the mgmt show, yah? -was it luck? was it skill? was it sexual prowess? regardless....that update is under the mgmt post - a dosie, fo sho. another instance: back last fall snow patrol played at northrup along with ok go & the silver sun pickups - the show was sold out and i wanted in. i turned to my favorite source, craigslist.org & success was found in an ad that went something like this: me and my girlfriend have an extra tix for the show ... we're just giving it away to the person with the most creative response. my email contain some suggestive language and ideas of lacking sobriety and humor, of course, so I WINNED!
7. the superpower of freezing people with my eyes, well, lemme temper that with... that's what matt suspects. -possibly one icy glance and they be stuck- quite the gift if i can get it to work.
it also has been shown to be quite the attraction, selling out weeks ago. i begged connections to find better connections, emailed the current who is sponsoring it & asked the production managers at first ave/entry - nothing came of that.
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