where i been?!

i was out of work for 4 weeks.  i didn't post for 4 weeks.  coincidence?

...i think not ;)

where have i been??? you ask... IM-ING!

i've discovered the gmail instant messaging service and
it.
is.
good.
it's really been a hectic, confusing, entertaining, story-filled and wild few weeks - it must be talked (typed) all out, constantly. caitlin and i are likely to be "let go" soon, but it has been worth it. lots. i'd paste a string of the hours and hours and hours of chatter, but to protect the annonimity of others (actually, ourselves because of the wrong, negative and dirty things we mention :)
anyone wanna join the fun?
bobbiloblawslawblog@gmail.com me!

mello the yellow

so, caitlin comes over one saturday before we hit the town for the evening. i pour some wine and settle in on my bed, which is just off the bathroom where C's in front of the mirror getting pretty, to gabbity. this lasts for some time, then it's my turn to flatten my poofy hair. i wander into the bathroom and notice the bowl has not been flushed since it was last, uh, used.

anyway, good thing this wasn't a neighbor, a first date or the pope seeing the dirtied bowl. just caitlin. no biggie. words were exchanged as:

me: opps - i forgettied to flush

caitlin: oh, i just thought it was mellowing

me: what?

caitlin: -thought it was mellowing

me: What?

caitlin: you know, yellow let it mellow - brown flush it down

me: (soft) chuckle, (growing) giggle, (crescendo-ing) ha Ha!

how could i have let that happen, you ask? well, odds are i was on the phone & didn't want to flush, having you hear. that's right, i'm a busy girl. i do lots of things on the go & i do lots of things while i'm going ;)

odds are, i've peed in front of you, with you, well ... sort of.

some of my many, many (many!) talents include:

i can do so many things. it's really, truly amazing. are they talents? superpowers? maybe miracles, but whatever...
just read!

1. i read books while i wander the skyways, when getting to and fro work. i really zoom when i walk, eyes focused on pages or not. slow pokes beware, i'm barging through! there has never been an accident because of my great sense of self, dynamite peripheral subconscious peepin and probably everyone else being extra cautious thinking i'm a crazed hazard. you'd be full of wonderment watching!

2. i only wash my hair once a week! it just doesn't need it - there's no greaseyness, no oily slickstered style about it and no flakey mess. in fact, it's at my favorite, ease-of-styling-wise, at about day 5. but, after 7 days i figure ... it just must be time. now gentleman, this may not seem like a jealousy enraging feat to yous, but to the other ladies of the world, naw na now nah na ha! however, when i do decide it's time (often early in the week), it is a small endeavor i must commit to, which takes mucho time deal with. so, if you call on tuesday and get an "i'm busy. i'm washing my hair," take it as the truth - no time for much else that day.

3. i park. i park well. it's almost magical how as i near and pull up to my destination, someone will make way for me. i'm at about 99% for getting the parking spot that even a rockstar'd be jealous of. if you're in need of this service, i'm selling.

4. i don't lose things (except for winter outer ware accessories - i always lose those). my level of responsibility can be measured well and accurately with one example, one which every female with pierced ears are thrown aback by, and it is also one which mostly anyone can at least appreciate. it is: i still hold possession of the earrings i had my ears pierced with in second grade ... fronts and backs. near miracle, no? naw. i'm just that good.

5. i can drink. i can down a liter of water in one swift moment! but, as impressive as that is, we all know that's not what i mean ;) i can cocktail impressively in the following ways... a. i am pretty sure these words do not need to be in my vocabulary - rally, buck-up, oh-come-on; b. i'm reliable, you know it and you take advantage of it (not that i mind) - i don't think i've ever used the excuse "i'm too tired" or "i have to get up early" nor "i'm sick as hell;" c. and the one you've all been waiting for ... i'll drink you under the table, or at least 90% of you - my skills have been proven to many, but for those of you underexposed to them, i invite you to join in a gathering soon.

6. i get what i want. musically only, sadly. i did end up going to the mgmt show, yah? -was it luck? was it skill? was it sexual prowess? regardless....that update is under the mgmt post - a dosie, fo sho. another instance: back last fall snow patrol played at northrup along with ok go & the silver sun pickups - the show was sold out and i wanted in. i turned to my favorite source, craigslist.org & success was found in an ad that went something like this: me and my girlfriend have an extra tix for the show ... we're just giving it away to the person with the most creative response. my email contain some suggestive language and ideas of lacking sobriety and humor, of course, so I WINNED!

7. the superpower of freezing people with my eyes, well, lemme temper that with... that's what matt suspects. -possibly one icy glance and they be stuck- quite the gift if i can get it to work.

empty messages: part, the two

thanks for thinking of me! (again)
BUT, if there wasn't a question or statement worth comment offered up in your text to me, you'll likely get a response containing a lot of nothing. i've gotten a few of them lately, and i'm just like, even if i wanted to, how do i respond to that? but since i'm like, i don't want to respond to that, i don't. something bland to do with how cold they are OR there's no bread in the house OR they rented a bad movie. sooooo? and??? boring!

another favorite? the "happy holidays!" text. while i appreciate it and thank you for thinking of me on such a special day, when you get 32 of them in one afternoon it starts to become quite overwhelming to think of returning em all. so i don't, i won't. if you feel the need to continue to send these sorts of messages, just know this ... i thank you tons & i love you lots & Ditto (whatever the greeting)!!!


i'm just the sort that likes information to be shared in these communications, whether it be just a humorous bit OR waaay vital news/direction/gossip. if you think they're good, keep em coming!

why blog? well, hell ... why not!?!

i was asked recently "How do you find blog writing? Fulfilling? No stalker fears?"





and i say:

well, i haven't posted my addy and there is nothing on there all too personal. i bet some face recognition software would bring up my criminal records as a registered sex offender, so my zip will narrow any stalkers field of range for finding me, but at the same time it will hopefully dissuade them from further pursuit.
gratifying? it can be, but i just mostly find it to be kinda fun. :P

fun? -cause i entertain my peeps some and vent a little and share funny stuff that should be seen by the world, and i'm making a sort of journal i can look back at later and laugh at myself.

i don't expect to be a blog star with 72 comments under each post by any means, but i think once in a while i entertain my friends, er fans. i know this cause i'm entertained by theirs. thanks kids!

PS: i know i haven't posted in forever (over a frickin week!), but i've got like 7 drafts on good shit sure to be loved. build anticipation & the want for the climax, ya know. hold please...

so THAT's where all the pretty people are!

who knew? apparently they've been hiding HERE. and fyi, they don't wear jeans. none of them do. lesson learned.
nor do they carry any, ANY extra weight. you must be concave to join the festivities. i kept my coat on.

what was funniest to me about it is that one gentleman we were with, who is from Naples Fl, thought that this was normal for clubs around here. ummmm. no.

my friend toni invited me to this event. she knew basically everyone, the little social butterfly that she is. there was yummy food (and plenty of it (remember: concave?)) & dj-ed music & dancing & rich people with fancy clothes with fancy cars with fancy jewels, scantily clad. i fit right in. next event, i'll let ya'll know (pending board approval of prettiness) if you're, too, "in." good luck!!!

despite how it seems i have received that evening, i did really enjoy it. there were many nice people there whom i hope to run into again. and i felt like i was on vaca. definately a south beach vibe. fun!

bobbiloblawslawblog ???

firstly, if you not seen arrested development ... do.
moving on: perhaps this name isn't all that creative since i just added a 'bi'to the already existing lil nugget of ingenuity, but i think it's just That good and hence very able to pull me along, too.
also, it fits cause 1. i am a lawyer, 2. my name is bobbi, and 3. i like arrested development a LOT. but don't worry - i most likely won't blog much about the law so as to not bore you. this will be much more on the completely pointless side of things.